I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
