i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
