so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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