how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it hurts more in the daytime
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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