WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am one with the molecules
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
