True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
