Define "chronic" masturbator.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
