Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
me + whiskey = a bad person
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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