He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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