i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
