I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
