Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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