Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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