Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
