OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
