Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
