I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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