I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
