On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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