He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What a dumb baby whore.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
