i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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