we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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