If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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