Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
