"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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