so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
