I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
