the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
