Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
