I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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