Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
