i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
