He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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