i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
