Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
