Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
