ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
