things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Two words: nipple clamps
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