I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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