If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
