I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
