just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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