it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
