And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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