So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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