just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
