Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
