lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
