My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
