she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
