Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
