I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Porn is love you can see.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
