So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His hands were made for my vagina.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
