I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
